When considering becoming a missionary, you must literally count the cost. How much do plane tickets cost? What does it cost to live in the country where I will serve? How will I manage ministry if I have children overseas? What will living conditions be like in the new country? What will I do if I get sick? How will I educate my children? And how in the world will I learn a new language at my age or learn the nuances of a new culture?

These are valid questions, and you must consider the answers when deciding to minister in a new country. But there are deeper costs to consider: leaving behind family and friends, a comfortable home, perhaps a nine-to-five job, and certainly your support system. Plus much more.

Going deeper still—the cost escalates. Upon arrival, you find that things are not what were envisioned—things don’t look quite as romantic as expected. Then you realize that learning the new language will take a lot of work and intentionality—much, much time. Once the newness wears off, you start to feel lonely though surrounded by people: lonely for those who understand you, lonely for those who feed your soul. If you don’t go into a pity party at this point, good for you! And I have not even mentioned getting used to a new environment, new home, new food, new culture and customs. The cost is enormous to your sense of self. But if you doggedly hang on, you will pay even more dearly.
As you slowly adapt to the new surroundings and adjust to the lack of physical comforts, the language starts to make a little sense, and you have a breakthrough conversation with someone. You feel on top of the world. A world you now feel you can conquer! And so you continue to lay yourself out before people, learning, making mistakes, receiving ridicule or at least not-so-kind laughter for the rude things you inadvertently say. You feel that you will never learn this language. So why keep trying?

But as you determinedly continue through the days of language learning and seeking to make friends within the new culture, something imperceptible happens. A part of your brain may be counting the months until you can go home, while at the same time, your heart is learning to love a people very different than you. So you continue sacrificing yourself to learn the language. You are desperate for friends, right? You want to be able to have a discussion with someone—to understand them and be understood—to have a friend.

As the days, months and hopefully years pass, the cost goes higher still; for now, you have more and more people that you know need the love of God through you. And so your life centers around reaching people. And the cost goes higher, for you find you are truly “not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Your time is not yours alone. Your physical energy is not yours alone. Your emotional energy is not your own; your boundaries widen, your innate personality broadens, and your capacity to love deepens. You start losing yourself in a good and selfless way to the needs of others. And you find that the cost of being a missionary is very high indeed, for no matter where you are, a large portion of your heart is not your own—you have given it away. You gave it to Jesus to love through you. You gave it to the people He sent you to. The cost of being a missionary is high, for you will never be the same. But then again, neither will the people you loved to Jesus be the same. So what does it cost to be a missionary? It costs you.

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