A Single Offering

We were baptized on the same day at the same evangelistic meeting as earliteens, and the difference was stark. He was coming into Adventism while I was a fourth-generation SDA, the grandchild of a pastor. I knew the Bible well enough to win competitions, even against the adults in our church, but he was actually on fire. And honestly, watching his faith burn impacted me and helped me reconsider my Laodicean walk of faith until grace found this lost coin in the house of God.

As colleagues serving the youth in our church, we saw each other grow, worked side by side and bumped heads. I have seen the “girl interests” pursued; his sister is one of my best friends. At one point, he was renting from my family. When he told me he was interested in me one day, I wished he had not. Just days prior, I had purposed to fast and pray because I sensed God calling me overseas. A calling I mulled over for years in the back of my mind while I knew very clearly my friend’s calling was to the States.

When I knew for certain that God had called me overseas for at least a year, we opted to try anyway. But I think that in the back of my mind, I was waiting for the inevitable—the concession we would not work out. Knowing beforehand did not ease the disappointment. Until then, I had never dated anyone, making the loss feel more bitter.

In the years since then, he has married, and I remain single. God has lain on my heart the decision to stay overseas until Jesus returns or He tells me otherwise. Singlehood is not easy. Adding the layers of being away from home comforts, family, and church family, make it challenging. Every year I return home to see someone else getting into a relationship, getting married, and having a first or second child, while I am still single—is humbling, honestly.

Questions abound, and moments are not few where I have wrestled with God and wondered why my lot was as a single overseas. In a culture where family is considered the central pillar of their values, the pressure is thick and heavy to have a spouse at 25; older than that is termed “unmarketable” and “unwanted” in Sinim. How can I, as a single, be influential and credible? I do not have complete answers. But I see what I can do because I am single.

Being single allows me to be a channel for the Spirit to weave and cram myself to be present and part of people’s lives, especially when life events can be unpredictable and inconvenient. I am not an extrovert, but by simply being willing and present, my schedule is packed because there is so much need. There have been weeks, almost every day, when I am leading a Bible study. Seeing looks of marvel at how Daniel 2 prophesies history, or hearing one say she loves Jesus because she now understands the atonement, has come about because being single provided me the flexibility, convenience, and independence to be part of their lives.

Being single means I am available to show up before 6:00 a.m. for 10 days straight to lead in the kitchen for a health program, or having later nights for Bible studies when young people get off work, or being at someone’s house to teach them how to cook without oil because the doctor diagnosed her with a tumor, or sleeping in another province on short notice to help aid in a funeral program. Being single, I can pour myself into people and be available for ministry without being irresponsible to a husband and children.

And God can use anyone no matter how questionable they may be. A church member, who was causing literal rebellion in the church, heard me share how rather than choosing a congenial life to find love and make a family, I chose to serve overseas out of love for God and the Sinim people. He said the Holy Spirit spoke to him at that moment, and because of that love and offering, he knew he needed to try all he could to convince the church not to split.

When I see what is taking place in the world and how great the need is, what I have to offer feels so small. So much so that, when the shadow of loneliness as a single was weighing on me, the Spirit had me reflect on what I mean when I say I will follow Jesus. Is there a limit to how far I will follow Him? When I say I am willing to follow Jesus, do I only mean the “feeding-the-5,000 Jesus” and “walking-on-water Jesus?” What about the homeless Jesus? What about the poor Jesus, the submitted Jesus, the suffering Jesus, the cross-bearing Jesus, the crucified Jesus, the seemingly God-forsaken Jesus, the buried Jesus . . . the single Jesus?

Lately, when I am brave enough, the prayer on my heart is for God to have whatever is left of my life. I wish to squeeze out all I have—all that is possible—for His Glory. I pray that people, especially young people, may see through my life that wholly following God brings the best kind of life possible. To follow Jesus, whichever way He would have me so do, has no disadvantage, but rather it is the most fulfilling, greatest, most abundant blessing to choose to obey Him completely.

For this reason and season, for now, or until Jesus comes, I offer my singleness as an offering. To any young person seeing the need to reach the unreached, not just for a year, but even long-term, who hesitates because they are single, know that God needs more who are willing to place their singlehood as an offering onto the altar. The influence of a single, young person willing to leave home and family out of love for God and His lost children while demonstrating contentment and fulfillment in Christ speaks of the reality of the peace and joy that God truly brings.

The years abroad have pruned and stripped me of every earthly support, but I have developed deep friendships and become a mentor to young people here and afar. What unrivaled joy seeing the ones I have been teaching become leaders. What an incomparable taste of accomplishment in seeing someone transformed now standing in front preaching their first sermon and having him express gratitude for my support. I do not understand everything, but I have enough blessings in this temporal life to trust God with every offering I have placed into His hands and know He will bring returns unimaginable for eternity.

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