Bzzz! One of our church elders messaged me to say that an Adventist teacher named Alex, who lived in another district of our province, had just died of liver cancer. His family was requesting help officiating his funeral. That surprised me. I did not know of any Adventist teachers in that district.
He had backslidden for many years, not attending church. But in the last few years of his battle with cancer, he had chosen to reconcile with his family and God. Now his relatives truly believe there is hope and that, by God’s amazing grace, they will see him again.
I continued communicating with the family and planned to travel there the next day.
Meanwhile, Alex’s fellow teachers, many of whom were Buddhist, were at a loss for what to do with his body. Coming from a Buddhist background where funeral rites are viewed not just as helpful but as essential for sending the deceased safely to his or her next existence, these Buddhist colleagues wanted to ensure their Christian friend was well taken care of with a proper Christian service.
Unbeknownst to us, they reached out to two Christian churches in town, asking for help in conducting a Christian funeral service. To their credit, these two churches wholeheartedly came aboard, drawing up a memorial program for the next two evenings. They would hold their 30-minute memorial first, followed immediately by ours. We agreed and prayed for the service.
When we arrived, we met the family and many of Alex’s Buddhist teachers. We also saw many of Alex’s former students and their parents arriving. This was going to be a big program! The local Christian pastors and worship team prepared to start their program, so we had no time for formal introductions. We sat down and patiently waited for the service to begin.
I was impressed by how these Buddhist teachers served as the emcees, translated their announcements and started the program on time. They also gave a government official the honor of lighting many candles in front of Alex’s casket as a symbol that the ceremony was beginning. Candle lighting is a common practice at the beginning of many Buddhist funerals, representing the illumination of the Buddha’s teaching and serving to guide the spirit of the deceased and to provide comfort and wisdom to the living. In the context of the Christian funeral, then, candle lighting would naturally be understood to represent the illumination of Christ’s teaching and wisdom, though no formal explanation was ever given.
The officiating pastor offered an opening prayer, followed by the praise team leading the congregation in singing about the impermanence of life, the certainty of death, and an invitation to trust in Jesus to gain entrance into the permanent home that awaits believers in Heaven. Covering all the bases, it could have replaced the spoken sermon.
There were several heartfelt expressions of grief and gratitude for the life of Alex. But time was ticking. Before the local pastor could even stand to preach, the clock called for us to start our SDA portion of the program. However, their program continued uninterrupted, only ending when it was time for ours to have finished. We quickly counseled together in our church’s chatroom and decided that when the emcees announced the start of our program, Brian Wilson would share a brief thought, followed by me singing one verse of “Jesus Loves Me,” and then we would close with a prayer of blessing for Alex, his family and friends. Under the circumstances, we felt that saying less would be saying more.
After we finished, I introduced myself to one of the two local pastors, who I learned was the area coordinator for all the Protestant churches in our province. I told him I thought their memorial program was meaningful and well done. He thanked me, introduced me to the other local pastor, and we exchanged contact information. We also decided that, rather than have two separate services the next day, we would coordinate and harmoniously merge our programs.
Our joint program was similar to the first, with our additional participation in the general singing, special music (singing “Amazing Grace”), and a short, powerful message by Brian Wilson on what is so amazing about God’s grace. The second program concluded with a symbolic burial service in which the pastor sprinkled dirt over a casket and then rubbed the petals off a flower, illustrating the brevity of life before we return to dust. The object lesson was very impressive, and all the people in the congregation were invited to come forward and lay flowers and tiny bags of dirt on the casket while we sang “God Be With You Till We Meet Again” in Thai.
At the conclusion of the second night’s program, one of the two local pastors asked me if we could handle the cremation ceremony the next day on our own, as they had other urgent business to attend to. I told them that they need not worry. I then immediately consulted with Alex’s family and the school teachers to find out their plans for the next day and to make my own suggestions as the officiating pastor. I then typed up the program and sent it to one of Alex’s co-teachers to print and distribute to attendees.
Because the Buddhist temple cremating Alex had other funerals scheduled that day, we had to finish our program and begin the cremation by 11:30 a.m. Shannon and our children, along with Elder Eddy and my Thai friend Mr. Q, arrived at the temple around 10:00 a.m. After a short wait, about 250 students and faculty from Alex’s school across the street arrived, single file, like a long line of ants.
The teachers lined the children up by grade and asked them to stand quietly while we led the service. They then served as emcees once again and told everyone that, since Alex was a Christian and since all religions teach people to be good, they would get to see how a Christian cremation ceremony is conducted. The school director lit the candle, beginning the cremation ceremony. Elder Eddy directed the students to stand for a moment of silence to remember Alex’s life and legacy. Alex’s niece, also a teacher at the school, gave a poetic reading of the lyrics to Rich Mullins’ song “Hold Me Jesus.”
I led the students and teachers in singing (more like chanting for most of the children) the songs, “It Is Well With My Soul” and “Because He Lives.” Then someone read Jesus’s prayer from John 17:24-26: “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory.”
With the sun high in the sky, shining down with its tropical heat, I began my funeral message, “What Does God Want For Me?” The children pressed close together into what remained of the trees’ long shadows. Without translation, I spoke to the Thai students and staff about the “7 H’s” God wants for us all: happy, hopeful, helpful, honest, humble, healthy and homefree in Heaven. While I tried to keep each point short and simple, by the end of my ten-minute message, seven students had collapsed or fainted, though I had not realized it. Thankfully, Elder Eddy, an experienced nurse, along with some of the teachers, attended to those students. After finishing my message with Revelation 21:3-4, I enlisted my daughter Selah to help lead “Jesus Loves Me,” including the verses: “Jesus loves me, He who died, heaven’s gates to open wide. He will wash away my sin; let his little child come in. . . He’s prepared a home for me; And someday, His face I’ll see. Yes, Jesus loves Me.”
One of Alex’s co-teachers then shared that Alex had faced his fate with amazing courage and had not told anyone he was fighting a losing battle with cancer because he did not want the students to be weighed down with premature grief. Sister Beth, Alex’s wife, came forward to thank everyone for coming to honor his memory and encourage the family. I then gave my final prayer, one of thanks and blessings for all the students and faculty.
We then invited attendees to walk single-file up the steps of the crematorium to place some soil and flowers directly atop Alex’s casket. I was very touched to see everyone showing such deep respect for their fallen teacher and friend, who had greatly impacted everyone in his school and community.
Afterward, my wife Shannon and I talked with many of Alex’s former colleagues. Several expressed their intention to visit our church in the near future. One teacher, LeeAnne, told Shannon she really wants to get baptized soon and asked what she needed to do to prepare. We told her we would be happy to meet with her soon and help her get ready. She was thrilled!
Just a few days later, Elder Eddy and several of our Surat Thani church members traveled to Ban Song district to hold a Sabbath service. LeeAnne and Alex’s wife, niece and daughter also happily attended, satisfying their desire for fellowship.
God is truly able to bring something good out of everything we experience in life, whether it be joyful or painful. God can redeem any and every part of our lives and, in wisdom and powerful providence, make it all work together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I believe that includes Alex’s death. We are already seeing how He is working to bring life (eternal life) from death. Praise God! Thank you for your prayers and support in our outreach here in Southern Thailand!
