Anna Miriam Lawrence was stillborn on Sunday, August 14, 2016 after a full-term pregnancy. This lament was written and shared by Keren Lawrence at the funeral on August 17. Please keep Keren and Orion in your prayers as they finalize preparations to launch to the Ama of Papua New Guinea.

To My Precious Anna Miriam

From the first day I knew you were growing inside of me,
I gave you to Jesus.
I asked Him to shape your character to be like His.

When I first heard your heartbeat, my heart was filled to overflowing with love for you.
I gave you to Jesus.
I asked Him to help me be a mother who would faithfully train you to follow Him.
I knew that with His help, your heart would be filled with His love,
and your life would show the character of Christ.

When I began to feel you moving inside, my excitement grew.
It would still be months before I could hold you in my arms,
and I longed for that day.
As I waited, I read to you from the Bible,
wanting to instill in you a love for Jesus.

I wanted you to love nature,
and especially, the God of nature.
We went for walks in the beautiful world God made,
and I told you about the cool shade under the trees,
the sweetly scented flowers,
and the birds and animals God made,
and, I gave you to Jesus.

Every day I praised God for the blessing of having you.
I asked His guidance and direction as you grew inside of me.
I recognized the weight of responsibility for raising you in a sinful world,
and I knew that it was only possible by God’s grace.

I read to you from the scriptures.
The stories, the promises, the psalms.
The stories of Jesus saving sinners,
the promises of going to live in Heaven,
the psalms of trusting God through pain.

When you got bigger,
you learned to love your friends,
sticking your heel into my tummy to join into conversations,
and to touch people you knew were there.

Your daddy and I love to sit at the piano and sing praises to Jesus,
and you loved to be there, too,
showing your joy by gently moving as you listened.
When we stopped for the evening, you kicked,
asking if we could keep singing.

I thanked Jesus for the blessing of having you inside of me.
I asked Him to keep you always faithfully loving and following Him.
I gave you to Jesus.

On the last day you were inside of me,
I felt your last wiggles and heard your last heartbeats.
Then the heartbeat and movements were over.
I gave you to Jesus again.

I praised Him for your life and the joy we had shared,
even as my heart was torn open in grief.

Then I turned to the scriptures and the promises we had read.
Jesus said, “I go to prepare a place for you that where I am, there you may be also.”

Oh my precious daughter,
how I long for that day in Heaven
when Jesus will give you back to me.
I will introduce you to your friends.
We will explore the wonderful worlds God has made,
and we will sing songs of praise together
to Jesus Christ who has saved us.

Even so, come Lord Jesus!

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