The bridegroom is coming! The bridegroom is coming! My horn sounded joyful with the announcement. People of all ages ran excitedly from their homes, waving and smiling. The bridegroom was behind me, followed by others on their way to the wedding banquet. As we made our way from home to home, village to village, others joined the procession.

In case you’re wondering if I am describing some sort of symbolic dream, I can assure you that this was a real-life experience—my first Albanian wedding—and yes, it was rather unusual for a newly arrived foreigner to be given the honor of leading the wedding procession. How did this all come about?

It was summer when our family first met Hasan and his wife, Salime. They are the parents of Brenda’s friend, Pranvera, and they live on a small farm in a village on the other side of the mountain. When we visited their home, they poured out the traditional Albanian hospitality on us and welcomed us with kisses on both cheeks and piles of food. We have since spent a lot of time with them and have become quite close. They have decided to adopt us as their American children, so now we are part of their family.

Upon the recent death of his uncle, Hasan became the family elder. When his nephew was going to be married, he asked me to accompany him throughout the wedding celebration and feast. I was honored with the privilege of driving the first vehicle in the groom’s procession and sitting at Hasan’s right side during the men’s celebration and the feast.

At first, the men celebrated separately from the women. The men from the bride’s side of the family sat at a table on one side, the groom’s side sat on the other, and the rest of the men stood around them in the crowded, smoke-filled room. There were three traditional musicians playing a clarinet, a drum-tambourine, and an accordion. Some of the songs were sung without instruments in the distinctive Albanian polyphonic style, which is difficult to describe. The main singer chants a phrase, and then the rest of the men join in with monotone drones. It seems that each one picks his own note to hold until the specified time. The result is an unmelodic but unique and interesting song. Often, the songs are actually old historical stories. Other times, they just make it up as they go.

After about an hour of this, we got back into the vehicles and, with the bride, made our way to the home of the groom. This was traditionally done on horseback, but now most use cars if they can get them, especially if they must travel a long distance. The bride looked very sad, and I wondered if this was an arranged marriage (still common in Albania, especially in the small villages). I later found out that it was traditional for the bride to be tearful at her wedding. In some regions, there was an ancient custom, no longer practiced, where the father, brother, or uncle of the bride would present a bullet wrapped in straw to the groom. This gave the approval of the bride’s family for her to be killed if she disobeyed. Perhaps the tearful bride custom began because of the natural reaction of the young woman to a forced and loveless union.
Though I found some parallels to the wedding of the lamb, Jesus, to His bride, the church, I also saw some significant contrasts, such as the force issue. Our Heavenly Father never forces. In fact, the love of the bride and groom for each other is central to the union. Instead of having a plan to kill the bride for her disobedience, the Bridegroom and the Father, out of great love, made a plan for the bridegroom to die for her, in her place. The bride is so moved by her groom’s sacrifice that she desires to please Him with her loving obedience forever. It’s only her love for and dependence on Him that allows her the willingness and the ability to obey. She could never do it without Him. What a difference this makes in the bride!
We are seeking to understand the Albanian world view so that we will know how and where to proceed with the plowing. There isn’t much point in scattering seed on hard ground. We want a love for the truth to take root deeply here and grow into a well-nourished plant that will reproduce abundantly.

Thank You, Lord, for bringing us into the midst of the Albanian people’s lives. Thank You for warming their hearts toward us. Please give us insight and wisdom to understand Your plan to invite these precious people, whom You love so deeply, to be Your bride. Help them to believe in and respond to Your limitless love for them. Lord, I pray that they will respond with great joy when they hear that the Bridegroom is coming. May I sit with them at Your wedding supper.

• Twitter