When I decided to take swimming lessons, I knew the biggest mountain to conquer would be my paralyzing fear of water. I am still working on that and slowly getting better. But during one of my most recent lessons, I found myself facing a challenge I never thought I would encounter in the swimming pool. One day, Sasha, my coach, shot a sensitive question out of nowhere.

“Do you drink wine?”

“No,” I smiled, still catching my breath after a long lap and scrambling in my mind to find the best answer to the question that was most definitely going to follow.

“Why?” my coach asked.

There it was, the question I was waiting for.

“Chris and I don’t drink alcohol at all” I replied.

“I remember he mentioned it once,” Sasha continued, intrigued. “Why?”

I paused, trying to come up with the best answer. I prayed silently for inspiration. Then I started playing the different options in my head.

Because the Bible says so. Yes, you can say that if you want your first Bible debate with someone to be focused on whether Jesus drank fermented wine, diluted wine or grape juice. Better find another angle.

It is a religious matter. Then the person will likely ask what religion that is, and once you say an Adventist, that is the label that will be pasted on your forehead forever. You will be defined by what you do not do. Adventism is more than not eating pork and not drinking wine. You want to preach Jesus first and doctrine last. Go deeper.

Because it isn’t healthy. True! But you do not want to sound condescending. People can feel when you think you are better than them. Also, Georgians equal anything homemade with healthy. For them, homemade wine is healthy. Maybe go with this one, but sweeten it up?

“Um,” I heard myself replying, “We decided we want to have full control over our minds and bodies. We just prefer it like that.”

I watched Sasha shake his head. He looked genuinely puzzled and almost disappointed.

“That’s no good,” he said. “That’s literally all the fun there is. How can anyone have fun without alcohol?”

That’s pretty sad. Don’t say that!

“We just have to work harder,” I smiled. “We have fun too. It is different without alcohol, but I can assure you life is pretty good without it.”
Sasha shook his head again, then replied, “I have to admit, I can’t remember half of my life. But you know, my best decisions in life, I took them while drunk.”

“Gives you courage in a way, right?” I laughed bitterly.

Sasha nodded.

“Then imagine what kind of courage you need to learn to swim in deep water without some help from alcohol,” I grinned.

Sasha laughed and then motioned me to start on another lap. He was no stranger to my frequent panic attacks in deep water. I could see that even though he strongly disagreed with my take on alcohol, he was definitely processing our conversation.

I came home that day wearing a heavy burden. I had not felt like that since childhood when I was a missionary kid in the middle of nowhere. The feeling of being the absolute opposite of the people I lived among surfaced once again. How could we ever reach these people? They live to eat, drink and party. We believe that none of the above are key to a meaningful life. There’s nothing similar there. What’s the common ground?

I emptied my soul to Chris, and he agreed that Jesus always mingled with people and started everything from that common ground. He brought the Kingdom of heaven into the everyday aspects of life.

“One day, we will find out how to do it, too,” he assured me.

Last week, our whole family was down with COVID-19. Many people have sent us encouraging messages and prayed for us. Our lovely neighbors brought some of their best toys over to cheer up our children. But to me, the most impressive message was the one coming from Mrs. Inga, our language teacher, “Please let me know if you need anything. I am praying for you.”

I was speechless. Mrs. Inga was praying for us! It was the first time anyone said that to us here in Georgia. At that moment, it was not our differences that mattered—that we were vegetarians, alcohol abstinent or that we did not party. What mattered was our sameness—suffering, having needs and praying to the same Father, despite our different beliefs. There was our common ground. I smiled and thought, Maybe, the next time I have a sensitive conversation with someone, I should just start with that.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Will you pray that we will be able to make this message the center of our gospel?

• Twitter