Grief from Half a World Away

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January 10
We were running errands in Port Moresby when I got a text. It was from my Dad. “Hi, family. You may want to sit down to read this.” He went on to say that after months of discomfort, my mother had gone to the emergency room to get a C.T. scan — it showed colon cancer that had spread to other organs. We were shocked! My mother has always been one of the healthiest people in the family, and her mother is still alive and healthy at 107. It didn’t seem there was much we could do from the other side of the world, and besides, rioting broke out in the capital that day, and that seemed the more immediate danger. So we prayed.
In the days that followed, we watched my parents as they weighed their limited options and chose less invasive natural treatments. After all, Mom couldn’t get an appointment with an oncologist for another month. Our furlough was scheduled for July, and I wondered if I would need to book my tickets for an earlier date so I could be with Mom.
After the excitement in Port Moresby had died down, shopping for supplies and shipping them out consumed our time and attention.

January 30
Once we arrived back in the village, the pace of life picked up. Conrad Vine, AFM President, was visiting our project, and we spent a few days brainstorming plans for the next several years on the Gogodala project. A camp meeting topped off Conrad’s visit, and then right after he left, a snakebite incident and funeral took our attention. I video-chatted with my parents and wondered if the children and I would have time to finish our school year before going to the States.

February 10
Mom’s weight continued to drop, and fluid was building up in her abdomen — a bad sign. Dad called to tell me on Sabbath morning, and I cried. But I dried my tears and went out to help with Sabbath School and, later on, Adventist Youth (AY). The next day, I called my sister, and we cried together.

February 17
Another Sabbath morning call with a close friend forced me to realize that Mom might only have months left. I was in charge of the AY program that evening, so we talked about why God allows bad things to happen. I told the church that my mom was dying of cancer back in the U.S. and that no money or doctors could help. I have never had their attention like that before. I hope they understand.

February 18
I booked tickets for the children and myself for March 24. I felt like that was the soonest I could reasonably be ready.

February 21
We shifted our furlough sooner, and Jason bought tickets to fly a month after me. I started taking inventory of my pantry and packing for the U.S.

February 26, Monday
Update from my sister: Mom wasn’t able to eat and was resting in bed more often. I needed to go, and Jason needed to come with us! We tried to change his tickets, but everything was closed for a public holiday.

February 27, Tuesday
Jason changed his tickets but discovered there was a fuel shortage in the country, and all the airlines were canceling flights. The only way to get out of the village was to leave on Thursday, flying through Mount Hagen. I was so glad seats were available for us! Frantic packing ensued.

March 1, Friday
We were relieved and thankful that we made it to Port Moresby. Unfortunately, our bags were left behind in Mount Hagen because there wasn’t enough fuel for us and them.

March 2, Sabbath
At 5:00 a.m., I received a text from my sister, saying that Mom had been struggling that day, and now she was on oxygen.

At 10:00 a.m., I video-chatted with Mom. I told her I loved her and appreciated her. She told me, “We have had a good life, an amazing life. We don’t have to know why things are happening this way. I’m so glad you girls love Jesus.” She wasn’t sure if she could hold out until I arrived, but I told her it was okay.

At 3:45 p.m., my sister called to tell me Mom had passed away. We cried and talked. This all felt like a bad dream!

The feelings of loss and disappointment came in waves while I unpacked and packed again. Miraculously, our bags were brought from Mount Hagen the next day, and then we were on our way to America. It’s been a whirlwind of a trip, but we have seen God’s care every step of the way.

I am so thankful that both my parents were at peace even though I couldn’t be there with them during this hardest of times. They believed in God’s purpose for me here in PNG. My mother lived joyfully, trusting God to take care of her and the people she loved half a world away.

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