Becoming Albanian

When we were new to Albania, the people on the streets didn’t seem so different from Americans. We could blend in here as long as they didn’t hear us speak—we thought. Although most Albanians have dark hair and eyes, there were some with blonde or red hair and blue, green or hazel eyes.

So, thinking that we were blending in pretty well, we wondered why people still stopped talking and stared at us as we passed by, even when we weren’t talking. And why did school children, especially boys, follow us around and laugh at us? Sometimes the children asked us if we were German or Italian. When we said we were American, they got very excited. It seems that all children here learn a couple of English phrases in school, and they’re very eager to try them out on real, live Americans. “What is your name?” they’d ask us, but it always came out, “Ooaht ees yur nehm?” When I’d reply with my name, they’d generally cover their faces with their hands and giggle. Each one would take their turn asking the question.

Again and again, we were followed and asked our names. Also the beggars would immediately identify us as foreigners and come running. After several weeks of this, we were hoping to learn how to not look so foreign.

Then one day, we discovered that we could easily pick out other foreigners on the street. It wasn’t long before we got pretty good at guessing which European country they were from. We would casually walk near them to hear the language they were speaking to each other to see if we’d guessed correctly. They never guessed that we were not Albanians.

One time, I saw a couple across the river who looked so American. It’s very unusual to see American tourists in our city. I just had to investigate. I nearly ran to catch up to them. Since there weren’t many other people on the street, they seemed mildly alarmed as I approached. They nervously looked at one another and then back at me, probably wondering what they should do. They visibly relaxed when I said, “Hi! Are you fellow Americans?”

“Well, yes, but how did you know?” they replied.

By then, we had learned how to tell the difference. First, it was the footwear. Mostly only young people here wear athletic shoes. It’s especially unusual to see a grown woman here wearing athletic shoes. Backpacks on anyone but school children are a dead giveaway. Hairstyles can give you away, and even the way you walk. Most Americans walk very fast and purposefully, even on vacation. They don’t stroll. Albanians are never in a hurry when walking, only when driving.

It’s not just the speed of the walk, it’s also the walking style. It’s hard to explain, but the mannerisms are different here. Several times, we have seen a couple of Englishmen or Germans standing somewhere, and one of us has immediately identified them. When the other family members look, they recognize them, too. This game has become a regular pastime for our family.

Once, we saw a couple we were sure were foreigners, but we were unsure of whether they were English, Irish, German, or Austrian. We walked near them and heard they were speaking English, but with different accents. We spoke to them and discovered that the husband was Austrian, the wife was Irish, and neither had lived in their native country for years. They had traveled extensively because of their work.

Another wrong assumption we had when we first arrived here was that Albanians think the same way we Americans do. They actually think very differently from us, but it takes much more time to learn these types of differences than it does to recognize visual cues. There’s also the problem of discovering the differences between different cities, between city people and village people, and between different classes, generations, and so on.

Cross-cultural soul winning is a science that takes careful study. Soul winning in our own culture is a whole lot easier, which is why we look forward to the day when Albanians will be able to reach other Albanians for God in a way that is true and makes sense to them.

It’s interesting for me to meet Albanian men who have lived in a foreign country, especially those who married a foreign wife. If they mixed socially with the locals and were not in a close knit Albanian community, they seem like foreigners to us when they return for a visit. It’s not just their hairstyles or clothing. They walk and talk and stand and act differently. They have adopted the mannerisms and maybe even the way of thinking of the culture they have lived in for so long.

Will that ever happen to us? I don’t know, but recently a few Albanians have mistaken me for a fellow Albanian. Children no longer follow us around, even in cities where they don’t know us. Hopefully, we can learn to understand how Albanians think so we can help them to find their place in God’s vineyard, bringing hope to their own people.

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