Have you ever felt as if you don’t quite belong? Yes? Me, too!
Recently, while on furlough in America, the land of my birth, I have been able to thoroughly enjoy many of the luxuries that we take for granted — the relished hot showers, a multitude of options at the grocery store including more fresh fruit and vegetables than I could possibly eat, being able to go for a walk without slipping and sliding in the mud, the pleasant absence of cockroaches and ants in the house, freedom to get in the car and go somewhere, anywhere, and no patients to wake me up in the middle of the night or to tell me about their aches and pains during church.
Yet, I feel as if I don’t really fit in here anymore, at least as far as culture goes. I don’t understand some of the new English lingo that my sisters use, and I can’t relate to a lot of the things that many people here put so much time and effort into. When I share some of my stories, they don’t seem to make much sense to the people who hear them. Sometimes, after I finish describing something about my life in Palawan, I decide that I will have to be more selective with whom I tell the next time. And yet, even though I don’t totally fit into American culture now, I also don’t completely fit into Palawan culture, either. I will never be able to walk the trails as well as the Palawanos who learned to walk on them as toddlers. I will never know how to survive out in the jungle as they do. I will never understand their worldview as they do or fit as seamlessly into their culture.
So, here I am, living in-between two worlds. Ephesians 2:19 is a verse that often comes to my mind, “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God.” Our real, true citizenship is in Heaven, a land where, as time goes by, we will thoroughly fit into the culture.